Memes 13

Dr. Luka Kovac remembers:

Luka smiled gently, the way only a man burdened by war and loss could smileโ€”like the sun breaking through heavy clouds.

โ€œI remember her victory,โ€ he said quietly. โ€œThe way little Nelly danced between the chairsโ€”barefoot, wild-haired, full of mischief and light. And when the music stopped, she sat like it was destiny. That yellow lollipop in her handโ€ฆ she held it like a trophy. It wasnโ€™t the sugar she wanted. It was the sweetness of being seen.โ€

He leaned back in his chair, gazing out at the Adriatic.

โ€œThat yellow dress at Sister Helenโ€™s sock hop? I think she wore it for that little girl inside her, the one who believed she could still win. Maybe Chris Martin saw that tooโ€ฆ wrote her that song, Yellow, trying to fix something he didnโ€™t understand. But it wasnโ€™t his to fix.โ€

Then his expression softened even more, touched with reverence.

โ€œAfter the game that dayโ€ฆ she walked straight to the corner of the schoolyard chapel. There was a small statue of the Virgin Maryโ€”faded, chipped from the winters, but still standing. Nelly knelt in front of it, clutching that yellow lollipop, and whispered a prayer only heaven heard. I didnโ€™t catch the words. I didnโ€™t need to. It was the look on her faceโ€”hopeful, innocent, grateful.โ€

He paused, then added with a quiet honesty, โ€œI knowโ€ฆ it was just a statue. An idol, maybe. Not the living God. But we were just kids. We didnโ€™t know any better. We thought if we prayed hard enough to her, she might tell Him. And maybe she did.โ€

Luka turned slightly toward the camera, speaking now to the Nelstar faithful.

โ€œTo those who loved her songs, her smile, her fireโ€”remember what she prayed for. Not a spotlight. Not a stage. Just one small moment of joy, and someone to share it with. Donโ€™t live your life chasing broken dreams or yellow songs someone else wrote for you. Dance your own dance. When the music stops, sit with courage. And if you find your hands emptyโ€”make your own sweetness.โ€

He glanced at the waves again, a flicker of light in his eyes.

โ€œAnd if youโ€™re ever lostโ€ฆ find a little statue, kneel, and whisper your heart. Not because stone can answerโ€”but because sometimes, your soul needs to kneel. Thatโ€™s how we heal. Thatโ€™s how we live. Thatโ€™s how we remember.โ€

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Love Not Narcissistic Supply

Dr. Luka Kovaฤโ€™s Confession: The First Patient

Vancouver, 1989. Before medicine, before Sarajevo, before I learned how to set bones or stop bleedingโ€”I learned what it felt like to be helpless and in love, under the flickering lights of a church gym.

My mission to heal Nelly Furtado began during Confirmation prep classes at St. Josephโ€™s Gymnasium, under the firm-but-kind supervision of Sister Helen.

We were tweensโ€”not quite children, not yet teenagersโ€”learning square dancing as part of our โ€œcommunity formation.โ€ Most of us groaned at first, but something about the rhythm made sense once we moved.

Nelly and I danced with perfect synchronicity.

Our hands met without awkwardness. Our feet mirrored each other, instinctively. Do-si-do, allemande left, promenade. The music was simple, structured. There was safety in the choreography. Purity in the pattern. When we danced, the noise in the world seemed to fall away.

For those moments, she wasnโ€™t shy, and I wasnโ€™t foreign. We were just two souls moving in time.

But everything changed at Sister Helenโ€™s sock hop.

She called it a โ€œwholesome social,โ€ but you could see her bracing herself the moment she pressed play on the boom box. Chubby Checker. The Ronettes. Little Richard.

She winced when the beat kicked in.
โ€œThis,โ€ she muttered, โ€œis what I call the devilโ€™s music.โ€

And she wasnโ€™t entirely wrongโ€”for us, at least.

Because when the square dance ended and the wild rhythm of The Twist started, the room split. The choreography was gone. The innocence evaporated. Now the dancing was adult. Loose. Improvised. Charged.

And we were terrified.

The boys didnโ€™t know how to dance.
Not the Mashed Potato. Not the Jerk. Not even the Twist.
We froze, leaning on the wall like backup furniture, pretending not to care.
We were wallflowers.

And even Nelly, who had danced so freely before, seemed uncertain now. She didnโ€™t move like she had during Cotton-Eyed Joe. She stood still, glancing at me onceโ€”and I looked away, ashamed I had no steps for this new world.

That was the moment I realized something:

Healing doesnโ€™t happen in certainty.
It begins in that stammering silence.
In the place between knowing the steps and fumbling in the dark.

I started bringing my cassettes after that.
Not to fix her. Not to impress her.
To say Iโ€™m still here, even when the music changes.

I wasnโ€™t giving her narcissistic supply.
I was in love with my first patient.

Not as a savior. But as someone trying to keep dancing with herโ€”through the structure, through the chaos, even when the rhythm frightened us.

She was my first mystery.
My first lesson in presence.
And the reason I still believe some wounds are spiritual before theyโ€™re clinical.

Sometimes healing begins in a square dance.
Sometimes it stalls at a sock hop.
But loveโ€”real loveโ€”keeps showing up anyway.

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Memes 12

โ€œFirst, do no harmโ€”and let food be thy medicine. Not John D. Rockefellerโ€™s motto: โ€˜Let oil be thy medicine.โ€™โ€


Essay by Dr. Luka Kovaฤ
Title: Return to Hippocrates: Healing Beyond Petroleum

I swore the Hippocratic Oath once in Vukovar, and again in Chicago, and I carry its spirit with me every time I walk into a hospital room. Primum non nocereโ€”โ€œFirst, do no harmโ€โ€”is not just a phrase. It is a shield I have tried to raise against the many unseen enemies in modern medicine. War taught me that harm is not always inflicted with bullets or bombs. Sometimes it comes disguised as help. Sometimes itโ€™s written on a prescription pad.

Hippocrates, the father of Western medicine, was no fool. He observed the human body not as a broken machine, but as a gardenโ€”needing nourishment, balance, rest, and care. He famously said, โ€œLet food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.โ€ That wasnโ€™t poetryโ€”it was science in its purest form.

But in America, I learned quickly that Hippocrates has been replaced. His wisdom buried beneath a mountain of pills, patented molecules, and petroleum-based drugs. His name appears on plaques and textbooks, but his soul has been exiled by an industry more loyal to stockholders than to patients. Instead of โ€œlet food be thy medicine,โ€ the guiding spirit of American healthcare seems to be: Let oil be thy medicine.

This isnโ€™t a conspiracy theoryโ€”itโ€™s a historical fact. John D. Rockefeller, the oil baron, reshaped medicine in the early 20th century. He funded medical schools through his foundationsโ€”but only if they taught pharmaceutical medicine, not naturopathy or herbalism. He wanted doctors to rely on petroleum-based drugs, synthesized chemicals, and profitable patents. In doing so, he established a medical-industrial complex that equated healing with consumptionโ€”of pills, not plants; of procedures, not prevention.

And so we now find ourselves in a system where chronic illness is managed, not cured; where side effects are expected; where nutrition is barely mentioned in med school; and where whole generations of doctors prescribe medications they donโ€™t fully understand, for diseases they barely treat, from companies they canโ€™t question.

But let me tell you what Hippocrates would say to the diabetic patient drinking soda, to the heart patient eating fast food, to the child on five prescriptions for conditions that might be solved with sleep, sunshine, and a garden. He would not blame themโ€”he would teach them. He would listen. He would remind us that foodโ€”real food, grown from the earth, not processed in a labโ€”is not an alternative medicine. It is the original medicine.

I do not oppose pharmacology. Iโ€™ve seen antibiotics save lives. Iโ€™ve administered morphine to the dying. But we must draw a line between emergency medicine and everyday health. We must distinguish between crisis intervention and long-term vitality. You donโ€™t use chemo to treat stress. You donโ€™t throw statins at a child who needs a good breakfast and a walk in the sun.

We doctors must reclaim our oaths. Not to pharmaceutical giants, not to hospital systems, but to our patients, our principles, and our planet. If we fail to remember that healing begins with food, with movement, with connection, we risk becoming little more than licensed drug dealers.

I often think of my fatherโ€™s garden in Croatia. He was no doctor, but he knew how to nourish. He knew the soil, the herbs, the rhythms of nature. And when the bombs fell and the doctors fled, it was the garden that kept us alive.

Itโ€™s time we remember our roots. Itโ€™s time to return to Hippocrates.

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