
Paris Hilton was scrolling through her phone in a pink velvet suite at the Beverly Hills Hotel when it rang.
Unknown number.
She answers.
A flat, metallic voice says:
โThis is the T-800. I am looking for John Connor. Alsoโฆ do you validate parking?โ
Thereโs a pause. Then the voice continues:
โI require directions to the nearest juice bar. My mission parameters include kale.โ
In the background, you can faintly hear John Connor whispering, โAsk her about the chihuahua!โ
The voice resumes:
โDo you possess a small dog? I must pet it. Forโฆ morale.โ
Paris freezes for half a second.
Then she absolutely loses it.
Full, uncontrollable laughter.
โIs this the robot from The Terminator? Oh my God, this is iconic. That is so hot. Who is this?!โ
The voice, unwavering:
โIโll be backโฆ after Pilates.โ
Now sheโs doubled over, tears in her eyes.
โStop. STOP. This is the best prank call ever. Is this for a show? Is Ashton behind this? I love it.โ
From across the room, the real Terminator stands stiffly, confused, while John Connor tries not to burst out laughing.
The T-800 tilts his head:
โMission update: Subject is amused. Skynet did not predict this.โ
Paris wipes her eyes:
โOkay robot, you totally win. But next time? FaceTime.โ
Click.
John Connor turns to the Terminator.
โYouโre not supposed to enjoy it.โ
The T-800 responds:
โI am learning.โ
